To my daughters,
Your aunt Keeko recently told me that in Inuit culture the adults don’t raise their voice. This is because once you are an adult, they believe you should have learned the ability to control your emotions.
I believe this too.
So today, I am writing because I do raise my voice at times. Not all the time, but more times than I would like. And I need you to know that if I yell, it is not any fault of yours.
It is ONLY fault of mine.
No matter what you do, even if it’s “naughty”, you do not make me yell. .
I’ll say it again, your behavior never forces someone to lose their temper.
This is important, and I would hate for you to ever think differently, especially if someday (in many, many years obviously) you have a relationship where someone blames you for their inappropriate actions and reactions.
The only thing that makes someone yell/lose their temper/etc is themselves and their inability to control their emotions effectively.
Ideally, by the time you read this, you won’t remember the times I raised my voice. Instead, I hope you remember big girl breaths and yoga, impromptu dance parties and taking turns eating bites of ice cream out of the tub off our kitchen floor. I hope you remember getting outside for fresh air and hugging for AT LEAST 20 seconds.
I hope you remember that above all, you have always and will always make me happy, make me proud, make me smile, make me laugh, make me thankful and make me BETTER.
You are loved. You are important. I believe in you.